Personal dreams however exciting are simply the landmarks to the permanency of reality! (Article)

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Personal dreams however exciting are simply the landmarks to the permanency of reality! (Article)

Post  Admin on Wed Oct 18, 2017 12:04 am

By Stanley Collymore

Didn’t I once hear you openly, emphatically and quite categorically say that from your own personal point of view there was realistically no conceivable way that you would ever allow yourself to emotionally fall in love and, furthermore, that being the proud, independent and strong-minded woman which you most evidently are would you ever consent, and these were your identical words: “Physically subvert myself or my integral being to any living man and in so doing, and for the rest of my allotted life, become nothing more than a highly suitable and, in essence, a characteristically convenient conveyor-belt  deliverer of his much desired and naturally predictable biological offspring; to whom I would, of course, immediately and intuitively become the noticeably grateful, constantly doting and ever buoyant mother, while simultaneously and rather uncomplainingly, but with no permitted professional career of my own, always serving at home as his every ready job’s woes or career concerns attentive ear, and all this attendant with my painstakingly choreographed and earnestly socially promoted  public role as the lace curtain and sophisticated woman and, obviously, the ever loving and dutiful wife.

As I vividly and somewhat amusingly recall when you voluntarily of your own accord made that emphatic and uncompromising statement of yours that seemingly, effectively and firmly, permanently closed the door and all other options as regards you cultivating any serious or emotional relationship with anyone of the opposite gender even though it was perfectly clear to anyone possessed of an astute brain and securely equipped with a competent awareness of such things that you weren’t by any stretch of the most fertile of imaginations either disposed towards becoming or, far worst in such circumstances, were actually a practising lesbian.

All the same you were a woman in your prime, twenty-eight years old at the time, long out of your distinctly personality-establishing and teenaged rebellious years, and furthermore at that age, appropriately, as one would quite unsurprisingly expect, a matured lady in every respect who was very sensibly and independently carving out a career for herself, which was entirely of her own choosing, and whose amazing progress, remarkable development and spectacular achievement had nothing whatsoever to do with the direct involvement or personal direction of any one person other than yourself.

So why then, and out of understandable curiosity on my part I must confess, did you renege on practically everything you previously and earnestly said and even convincingly specified that you determinedly believed? And instead now appear to be wantonly and contradictorily embracing the identical things that you once considered were so infinitely antipathetic to the very concept of the lifestyle which you previously, famously and quite assuredly confirmed to persons like me was the sole one that you unstintingly and unchangeably wanted to live. Your right, of course as it is everyone else’s on whatever matter that infiltrates their thoughts, to change your mind, as long as you make the conscious effort to remember that regardless of how exciting personal dreams are they’re nevertheless only the landmarks to the permanency of reality!

Whatever one might think of the biblical story relating to Adam and Eve the good Lord, from my Christian understanding of it, did not impose any divine prescription, which he evidently could have done had he wanted to, that these two individuals should necessarily pair up with each other and therefore rather shrewdly and pragmatically on His part allowed a free choice of a relationship between the two of them, which would basically be a matter entirely of their own. And that’s exactly what occurred, and therefore the consequences of their actions rested solely with themselves.

And it’s the same situation with every one of us. For we’re all of us endowed with a personal brain and the capacity from birth to be able to think for ourselves. Granted that this is clearly a developmental process that can be influenced by others. But ostensibly as one gets older and presumably wiser the choice is still there pertaining to whether as an individual you choose to actually think for yourself and objectively, as a result, make your own informed decisions in relation to all aspects of your personal and professional lives or instead prefer, for whatever reasons, to allow others to do that for you.

But even so, while we all have dreams of one sort or another and are perfectly entitled to live and explore them irresponsibly allowing them to dictate every aspect of one’s everyday life is not only a grave mistake, it’s also the height of folly. And getting emotionally and physically involved with another person for all the mistaken reasons is just as stupid really as assuming that one can cut oneself permanently off from reality and then call that living a normal life.

But a word of caution. Whether you get involved with someone or choose to stay single and unattached that decision, if it’s to really make any sense, should be yours alone. And if you select to become part of a couple that doesn’t necessarily mean or should it in any way make you cease to be the individual that you actually are. Unless, of course, you purposely decide that you want to become another person’s personal doormat!

So do remember, and constantly so, that in everything you personally do individual choice and basic common sense should be your faithful watchword and guiding principle. After all it’s your life! So why let someone, or others, supposedly or arguably, even with the best of intentions, arbitrarily live it for you? Your decision. And the best of luck in making it.

Throughout all this and taking full cognizance of the realization that the intuitive or conscious decision by you not to trust or get personally or emotionally implicated with anyone might in actuality stem from the direct influence of the traumatic experiences you’ve undergone at the hands of sexual predators and/or abusers, whether they’re serial or otherwise, ongoing still or are incidences of the past, while not an abuser myself nor could I ever imagine myself being one far less so permit anybody to ever have taken such a diabolical liberty with me and then because of the power and influence they wield or buttressed by whatever sick reasoning that their likeminded verminous supporters or encouragers can come up with to justify or absolve their vile actions and then have the gall to ludicrously and insultingly posit these as “plausible excuses” and therefore on my part can’t honestly profess, nor would I ever attempt to do so, that I truthfully know how you feel or what it is that you’re personally going through as a result of this onerous travesty of brazen injustice gratuitously inflicted on you, the answer I do know is not to shut yourself permanently away from the consequences of reality that you suffered and in all likelihood still endure.

For in doing so you merely hand victory to your abusers and unwittingly through this de facto process grant them carte blanche to carry on controlling the terms and conditions of your life. And quite honestly after all that they’ve malevolently done is that seriously what you want to happen?

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